Uff-da!

Another weekend came and went. Where does the time go? This was a weekend for the books though, as it was my last official weekend living at home. CRAZY!! I have many mixed emotions about this, as most are probably fully aware. But everything is coming together, I got a job on friday. I hope it will be a good fit for me. It just seems pretty "meant to be" as the opportunity just kind of fell into my lap. And in perfect timing. So we'll see! Anyways, after I got my exciting job news, I came back home and went out for one last hurrah with my sister. It was just the two of us, but we actually had a pretty good time! I had fun! Saturday was mostly just a relaxation day. Josh came up later in the afternoon and we  just watched movies and spent our saturday night playing words with friends and watching awful halloween shows. Sometimes we feel like we're already a middle aged married couple. But we have a lot of fun with each other, and spend our time laughing almost nonstop. It gets exhausting sometimes ;) But in our defense, we couldn't really go out and whoop it up saturday night like all the other cool kids, because we had to get up and go to church for my niece Ruby's baptism. Josh's parents also came up to meet with my parents and the rest of my crazy family. It all went very well, and i'm so happy they got to meet finally. Anyways, so this is my last week in town. I watch Mara tuesday and thursday. I start my new job on wednesday. And then i move this weekend! AHH! Praying for a little extra strength this week, i have a feeling it's going to be A LOT to take in. 

Shift in directions...

Well then! Things sure like to change at the drop of a hat around here! I'm not complaining, just a statement! GOODNESS! But frankly, I don't really know where to begin with this one! haha. I guess to begin by saying that Josh and my wedding plans have dramatically changed within the past couple days! Everyone keeps asking me "Emily, what is your dream wedding? What do YOU want?" If anyone knows me well enough, they know I rarely EVER know what I truly want. I've never been one of those people that has this structured list of how they want things to be and in what order, especially pertaining to a wedding. But the more I think about this ever so common question, and really buckle down to consider exactly how I want this wedding to be, there's only one thing that truly honestly matters to me. I want to marry Josh. In a church. And that may seem like a really lame thing to say, but seriously. The big extravagant party isn't a HUGELY important thing to me, or Josh for that matter. And there's no reason why we couldn't have the party still. But here's our thought process AS OF NOW. We are moving in together, well...in a sense. I'm moving to his parents house. And we are going to have to live separately for a year because we want to respect both our parents wishes to "do this right." Which we both agree with, by the way. But we get around to thinking, If this huge ordeal of a wedding party is the ONLY reason we are waiting (In order to save up, and plan the freakin thing) and in turn we actually don't even consider it to be an all THAT important aspect to us, Why are we waiting?? If we could get married 2 months (that's a total random time-line by the way) from now surrounded by our closest family in a church and just have a small gathering for dinner or something, and then maybe in the future have a "reception" type party with all our extended family and friends-Why wouldn't we do that?? All i'm saying is, If neither of us have a shred of doubt that we are soul mates, meant to be together forever, etc. Why are we putting off starting our lives together just for the sake of a party. Am i crazy for having this thought process?? We both take the sacrament of marriage very seriously, and we both are fully aware that the choice we are about to make is for a lifetime. Believe me, we've had multiple extensive conversations about it. So, we are NOT being irrational and jumping into something we think we can just reverse in the future. And I know people will call us crazy for not being all bent out of shape about not getting a bunch of gifts and money. I realize how great it is,i'm not dumb, but in the grand scheme of things does it really matter all that much? Annnnyways...this is just me thinking out loud, that's what these blogs are for, right?? Any feedback would be appreciated, as long as it's not really negative ;) Oh and another little side note for all you out there raising an eyebrow, NO I'M NOT PREGNANT! that's not what this is about...hahah. 

ughhh

Well. Today is not a very good day so far. I don't know where this came from, but I woke up at an absolute horrendous time today and couldn't sleep. And now I just feel awful all around, my stomach is just ill and my head feels like it's in the clouds. I feel like i'm on the verge of tears on top of that. What on earth. Prayers please, I would appreciate this feeling to get lost. 

Time flies...

Well...The weekend is coming to a close. So sad that it goes by so fast. I had such a good weekend with my sweet sweet boy. We actually accomplished quite a bit...i think. For all those that don't know, I am going to be moving down to Josh's house in the next month. I am really really excited! And then i won't have to dread Sundays so much anymore. ;) Anyways, On saturday we did a little bit of work cleaning out Josh's room and whatnot, and we decided we would try to shoot for getting me moved in the first weekend of November. So that's about 3 weeks to get everything sorted out! I have my work cut out for me, i HATE moving. But yeah, it will be a very positive thing for me to get out of Lindstrom! I'm a little bit nervous that i will get homesick, considering i've been such a homebody most of my life. I love my family! But, his family is so unbelievably sweet and kind to me, I know I will feel right at home with them all. And i can't wait!!! I guess i'm just worried about the whole job aspect, i hope i can find something good for myself. But i know everything will come together the way it's supposed to! OMG AM I REALLY GETTING OUT OF LINDSTROM??? I don't think it's hit me yet! Anyways, the rest of my weekend just consisted mainly of Josh and I loving each other. HAHAH gag, right? I sure do love that boy. We had a nice little bonfire at my house saturday night, and then sunday we just lounged around a good part of the day watching a few good tv shows, and then we headed back down to his house for sunday dinner. All in all, a really really good weekend! :) I'm pretty damn lucky in life right now!  :)

Good times with even better people

So this post isn't going to be as long or in-depth as my other ones, i'm tired and a little out of it. But today I had an actually pretty dang good day! I watched my little darlin' Mara until about 4. I tell ya, that girl tugs at my heart strings every day! When we're laying in my bed early in the morning she'll just turn over and face me and just hug my arm. I mean, she really is just the most sweet little girl i've ever known, especially for only being 2 years old. And then I was sitting on the couch and she just comes up to me out of nowhere says "ohh Emily" and gives me a big hug and a kiss. I could have died. It's things like that that just make your day/week that much better. Anyways, after that Josh came up, because we had plans to get together for dinner with a few other couples before my best friend Katie has her baby within the next week. I AM SO EXCITED! The first baby within our little circle of friends, believe it or not! But that baby is going to be a doll, and SO LOVED! I can't wait to spoil the dickens out of her! (dickens?...) Anyways, It was just an overall great night, laughing with friends is incomparable. Even though we had awful service at the restaurant, it was time well spent! 
Seriously!! Life is so good!! :) 

Whirlwind

Change. One of the most prominent double edged swords I know of. There's just something about it. You crave it and long for it when things are sedentary; when you get stuck in the day to day routine. And as soon as you get it, or even get a glimpse of it happening, a certain fear kicks in! Why is that? I know i'm probably not the only one that feels this way. 

My little life is changing at a rapid pace. There's a part of me, subconsciously, that keeps wanting to tap the brakes...just a little bit. But I'm not going to. I just keep thinking, what good will come from pushing off something that is going to be so great for me, just for the sake of staying comfortable. Nothing that is changing is negative in the least, and it's nothing for me to be afraid of. All it is, is change. Things won't be the same. And that's okay! Things can't always stay the way they are. They just can't. You have to continuously strive for more, you have to push away the fear and just keep truckin'. You don't know how absolutely perfect something could be until you give it a shot. Comfortable isn't always the way to go. I've lived in this little bubble of a town since the day I was born. And I know most of my fear comes from the unknown. THIS IS ALL I'VE EVER KNOWN! How sick is that? haha. And ya know what, I do regret it from time to time. I regret not picking up and going off to do the whole college thing on my own, even if just for the sake of saying THERE..I did it!! I just didn't do it. (much of THAT has to do with my lack of decision making skills..but that's a whole different story)And I don't think that makes me stupid, or not ambitious. And I hate more than anything being drilled by people (who don't even know ME) about why I haven't gone to college, or why i've done what i've done. I hated being silently or even openly ridiculed about when i was going to get a "real job" or why i've chosen to work for the past few years for my family? BECAUSE I LOVED IT and it made me happy! I didn't make tons of money, I didn't achieve any certifications by doing it. And i guess those are the only reason for doing things these days. I feel like I really gave myself a chance to grow up before I started making life changing decisions. And i'm getting there. For God's sake, i'm only 22 years old, it's not like it's TOO late for me. It never is. Just because "Jane Doe" knew exactly who she was and who she wanted to be since she was 18 years old, doesn't mean the rest of us did. Everyone is different, and everyone has a different path in this life. I'm SO happy with where i'm at. I know i'm smart, I have a wonderful family who supports me in everything i do. I have Josh and his amazing family who are there for me more than i could ever imagine. As far as i'm concerned, right now- I have it all! I'll figure out the rest as I go along. Change is surrounding me! And i'm ready for it-hit me with your best shot!

Random!

RYAN ADAMS! LISTEN!


Okay, this is kind of random..but this is a must listen! I like to periodically visit the Full cd listening section on Aol music. Just to potentially discover some new music or artists that i love, and today my friends that happened!! Go to that website I linked above if you have the time and listen to the Cd Ashes and Fire from Ryan Adams. I listened to it all the way through and I just really loved it. I've never heard of him before, and for all i know he's been around for a long time, oh well either way! He's got a very soothing voice and it's just good music. Give it a shot, and maybe there is another cd listed right now that you will fall in love with! Anything free is rare these days, so to be able to listen to a full cd before purchasing is pretty cool!


**After further review...seriously check out the other albums that are available to listen to right now. They change them about every week or so. There is some goooood stuff right now!! Haven't listened to it all, but i'm listening to the album by an artist named Icebird right now and Loving it!! 

Unconditionally

Well then!! I'm doin' it, i'm really doin' it! This blogging thing. hahaa. Anyways, today is just a regular old tuesday. I'm watching my sweet sweet niece Mara. She's 2 years old, and i've been watching her since she was 3 months. I've seen her grow and change and learn! That will be coming to an end soon, and i'm afraid for that day to come! I will be so sad. But anyways the main point of my entry..Today is also my sweet Dad's birthday! Turning 58 today! And it really got me to thinking how soo very very blessed I am! To have him not only in my life, but as my Dad. As that steady rock in my life. I feel so lucky to have someone so amazing as my "basis for comparison", if you will. Having him to learn from, and see first-hand just how a woman should be treated day to day. What my (and every other woman's) expectations SHOULD be from a man and a husband. He gave me the strength (without even knowing it) to strive and be patient enough to wait for that someone that stood up to those expectations. Soo many people don't have hope or an ounce of faith in a lasting love because they don't SEE it nearly enough. And I have been SURROUNDED by it my whole life. How amazing is that?? He is there when I need him, and if ever i'm feeling down or fed up, he knows just what to say. I honestly do not know what I would do without him! That is a love that could never possibly be replaced. <3

I mean.....

So...i started a blog. Well, I suppose I should say I took the first initial step and i signed up for a blog. I guess in order for it to be an actual blog, i'll need to keep up with it. COMMIT to it, and that's sort of the goal here. You get the idea. I'm assuming many people, like myself, wouldn't exactly consider their lives "blog worthy." In other words, Who really wants to read about my day to day life? GOOD FREAKIN' QUESTION! The answer very well may be NOBODY! And hey, that's really okay! And besides whose life really is blog worthy? Well anyhow, I'll stop with that rant. This blog will be me-simple enough. My life isn't all that exciting, But i love where it's going, and i'm at a pivotal point where i really feel like this is the stuff worth remembering. Documenting. Not exactly positive that blogging is the way to go about that. But hey, everyone else is doin' it. Eh? EH?