13 weeks #2!

Figured big sister should be featured as well! 

How far along? 13 weeks!!
I feel sorta bad for this babe, because their bump updates are going to be a lot less "glamorous" than they were with Elsie. (when I actually had a reason that I needed to look presentable everyday) You're all lucky I at least showered and put some clothes on ;) 
 If you'd like to see my 13 week update from my pregnancy with Elsie, you can find it here

Maternity clothes: None yet! 

Stretch marks?  Not much stretching is occurring in general quite yet. haha

Sleep: Sleep has remained pretty much the same, which is a GOOD thing. Els lets me get a lot of good sleep, which helps IMMENSELY! 

Best moment this week: Well I had the ultrasound for the genetic testing, which again we opted for just so we could see the little bambino more or less. So it was a lot of fun to see the little monkey bouncin around in there, definitely made things that much more REAL for us! haha We got the results back from that today actually and it was nothing but good news- 1 in 10,000 for down syndrome and trisomy 13 so that's wonderful! We got a couple cute ultrasound pictures too! :) 

Look at those stretched out legs! Certainly cozy in there! haha

Hi mom! :)

Miss anything?:  Having the energy to do more than just taking care of my little lovie. 

Movement:  Nope, not yet!! 

Food cravings: Salad!! I found the Olive Garden salad dressing and I've basically been obsessed. So i've been eating TONS of salad and sliced cucumbers! Could be worse, right?? 

Anything making you queasy or sick?  It's touch and go, somedays I can make it though without any, and others i'm smacked in the face with it again. No rhyme or reason. Sigh. 

Gender: Still don't know that! I'm still thinking totally has to be a girl!! 

Labor signs: No! 

Symptoms: I had a horrific, hideous migraine last night. I felt it building as I was getting ready for bed, so I promptly got to bed and thought I could beat it by just sleeping it off. NOT so much. I woke up at about 3:45 from a dream that a doctor was telling me I had a brain bleed. YEAH.....It was freakishly bad. I took some pain reliever and some dramamine and laid as still as I possible could until I could fall back asleep. Thank GOD it was gone when I woke up in the morning. In a weird way, I was grateful that it happened in the middle of the night. Yes, it disturbed my sleep, but I would rather deal with it by myself in the wee hours of the morning than be absolutely worthless to my daughter during the day. I just can't believe this is happening all over again like clockwork. I would rather deal with daily nausea than one of those headaches, it's scary! I'm basically on my knees in prayer that this doesn't start happening daily again.

Belly button in or out? It's still in

Wedding rings on or off? Off actually, but not because i'm swollen, but cause my rings are too BIG! I lost quite a bit of weight after I had Elsie (somehow) and they don't fit very well at the moment! 

Happy or moody most of the time?  I've been happy for the most part

Looking forward to:  Spring time, and hopefully finding our home soon!! 

Birth Story

Since it's still fresh in my memory, I thought I would document and share our birth story! Also, be forewarned, it's going to be VERY long and well...TMI. ;)

It all started on Friday, August 22nd. I had gone to work as usual and I felt fine for the most part. I had actually started to come to terms with the fact that I was probably going to go all the way to 40 weeks and beyond potentially. I got home from work and just spent the rest of the evening relaxing and watched Mrs. Doubtfire. We went to bed and I noticed that I had to get up to use the bathroom a LOT more than usual. Also, every time I would use the bathroom and go lay back down I had some pretty bad cramps. It felt like those obnoxious aching cramps you get right before you get your period. I thought it was a little odd, but didn't think anything of it-just figured it was false labor or some painful braxton hicks. When I got up in the morning, I still felt a little off. Josh had to work and I planned to get up nice and early and go run some errands. We had planned to get EVERYTHING baby related done that we had left to do. Well I used the bathroom and noticed a little bit of blood. I just told myself it must be due to having my cervix checked at my most recent doctor appointment. (The denial begins...) But since I wasn't feeling the best, I thought it was probably a good idea to just wait for Josh to get home instead of going gallivanting all over town by myself.  As I was getting ready, I took a pic (which ended up being my last bump picture) because I wanted to see if maybe it was obvious that I had "dropped" or what the deal was. Maybe that would explain why I wasn't feeling the best.

Josh got home and we got ready and headed out. At that point I was still feeling really crampy, but we had SO much to do. It was our plan to go to Roseville and go to World Market and Babies R us. On the way we decided to stop at Planet thrift because we were looking for a piece of furniture to finish off the nursery. We ended up seeing Josh's aunt and her mom there, and she seemed to think I definitely looked like I had dropped since she had seen me at the shower the weekend before. Well as we are walking around the thrift store, I felt a small "leakage." Basically wasn't sure if I had randomly lost control of my bladder or what was going on. At that point Josh started feeling a little concerned but I was still brushing it off. (cramps are getting worse) We stopped at Dock 86 quick and then made our way onward to Roseville. We got to World Market and the cramps started picking up. To the point that Josh started getting REALLY annoyed at my insisting to call them cramps instead of contractions. He even whipped out his phone and tried to time them. I just kept telling him that I was fine, and nothing was happening. We got all that we needed there, and headed next door to Babies R Us.  Well as we are walking around there, another gush-this time a bit larger. Josh starts freaking out, I continue to be in denial but at that point it starts feeling a BIT more concerning and we decide we will call the doctor when we get home and see what she thinks we should do. I still hadn't packed a hospital bag or anything despite my doctor scolding me to do so at every appointment. We grab some things at Babies R Us, focusing on things we NEED in case we have a baby on the way. Josh rushes me out of there and we head home. If it were up to me, I probably would have tried to stop a couple more places to get some things. We get home and I get on the phone and spoke with the nurse and she tells me the doctor will get back to me. Well as i'm waiting for the call back, I go in the bathroom and all of a sudden I feel a big WHOOSH and at that point it's pretty clear that it's undeniably my water. OMG my water broke!! I wouldn't say it's like in the movies, but I think I definitely experienced about as close to that as it comes. I've heard most women don't really even have their water break, and more often gets broken during labor. So, I get a call back from the doctor and I tell her all that has just occurred and she basically tells me to get some things together, get something to eat, and get to the hospital.

So after a long drive  (aside from my request to stop at burger king first....denial still) sitting on a towel, and progressing contractions- we finally made it to the hospital. I step out of the car and it's like a flood, SUCH an uncomfortable feeling. Josh ended up having to push me in a wheelchair because I was NOT about to go walking through the hospital dripping everywhere. We make it up to labor and delivery at about 4 and we were initially told they wouldn't "room us" without me getting an exam first. Well, they took one look at my soaking wet shorts and it was CLEAR I wasn't leaving the hospital without this baby. Talk about a crazy feeling! So they brought us down to our room (We got the "big room" by the way) I got into my gown and started rolling with the contractions, which at this point were getting WORSE and worse. My midwife came in and checked me and I was at 3 centimeters, so it was left up to me to do what I wanted. I could get in the bath, sit on an exercise ball, or whatever really until I decided I wanted my epidural. I chose the exercise ball. I think I lasted about 45 minutes total before I was like OKAY that's enough, lets get this epidural process going. They had to give me an IV of fluids before they could give me the epidural so unfortunately I still had to wait a bit longer. Those contractions are NO joke. I truly applaud any woman that can make it through the whole way. Anyways, I get my fluids and the anesthesiologist comes in and works his magic. The process wasn't all that bad, just a little uncomfortable, but I knew what the result was going to be so I was all for it. The hardest part was staying completely still through my contractions as he's sticking the giant needle in my back. Once the meds started setting in, I was a HAPPY girl!

After I got the epidural going, the doc came and checked me again and I was at a 5. She could feel another "water bag" that was still intact, so she went ahead and broke the rest. We were then left to chill out and the waiting began. We watched some tv and they told us to "get some rest" but it seemed like whenever we would doze off, the nurse would be coming in. I felt so bad for Josh because he had worked that morning, so he was really sleepy and only had a SUPER uncomfortable couch to try to rest on.

So a couple hours past (I think anyway) and the nurse came back in to empty my bladder with a catheter, since I was not able to get up to use the bathroom with the epidural. (FUN!) And she goes "ya know...I think i'm going to check you if you don't mind." So she does, and she goes "Oh! you're at a 10 and the baby is SUPER low now!" YIKES! So she says we're going to let your body work her way down some more with the contractions, that way you won't need to push as much. (which I was definitely a fan of) So it was about 12 at that point and they said I would start pushing at about 1. 

So 1 o clock rolls around and the midwife gets there and we get the show on the road! I was TERRIFIED!! Josh was such a good "coach" I really don't think I could have done it without him. So a contraction comes and they tell me to push and I do, and they basically tell me she's just about out already! I pushed 3-4 more times and she was out! I started pushing at about 1:05 and she was out at 1:23. It was the most insane thing I have EVER EVER experienced. Just to finally see her face, it was a really really surreal feeling. She was beautiful, it was absolutely love at first sight! She was 7lbs, 15oz and 20.5 inches long. She is absolutely a gift from God, and we can't imagine our lives without her now. It's like she's always been here! 

We love you Elsie Grace!!

37 weeks!!

I haven't added any pics of the bare belly and we are rapidly running out of opportunities for that!! And I threw in the front view because it really shows off the poppin out belly button! And if I look tired, it's because I AM!! :) 











How far along? I am 37 weeks pregnant!!! This baby could be in my arms ANY DAY NOW!!  

Maternity clothes: It ain't changing at this stage of the game!! And I don't think i'll be purchasing any more maternity clothes! SO CRAZY!! 

Stretch marks?  Nothin! Just have to make it a liiiiiitle while longer!  

Sleep:  I have to say I think i'm one of the lucky ones, the belly really doesn't disrupt my sleep too much. I get comfortable fairly easily and stay asleep other than the few trips to the bathroom obviously.

Best moment this week: My baby shower!! It was SUCH a good time and I was literally SHOWERED with gifts for this little one. She is so spoiled and loved already! I really can't thank Josh's family enough for making it so special for both of us!! :)  Oh, and just a little extra from the week, we took the tour of the birthplace and it really kind of hit me all at once! It's hard to explain, I had the goosebumps the entire time!! I think maybe it's a good idea to take the tour a little further in advance! To think I could be back there having this baby at ANY point is really a surreal feeling! 

Miss anything?:  Being able to bend over, it's getting more and more impossible every day!  

Movement:  She doesn't have a whole lot of room to do much anymore but I DEFINITELY still feel her in there ;) 

Food cravings:  Mainly fruit again!      

Anything making you queasy or sick?  Nothin! 

Gender: Baby girl!  

Labor signs: Nothing too significant, but I am progressing! (Any of you casual readers that may find some "details" a little TMI should stop reading now!) I had a doctor's appointment on Tuesday and she "checked me" and I am 1 centimeter dilated (which I know doesn't mean much cause I can technically sit there until i'm due) but I was 70% effaced, and my doctor seemed to be VERY pleased about that progress! And as far as her position goes, She is in position and she's pretty well engaged in my pelvis too! She is sitting at a -1 station, which is basically just the scale they use to measure how far the baby has dropped into the pelvis. When they are at a 0 they are considered to be fully engaged and ready for labor, so I was really REALLY happy about that too! So we shall see!! 

(Insert cheesy informational diagram here!) 

Symptoms: I still have really bad indigestion, and my stomach still falls asleep ALL the time. She needs to drop just a little bit more and that'd be GREAT!! I've also been pretty crampy lately, it feels like i'm on the verge of getting my period. My body is doin somethin, that's for sure!! AHH!  

Belly button in or out? Outie!   

Wedding rings on or off? On. I haven't had ANY swelling (knock on wood) 

Happy or moody most of the time? Honestly, I had a REALLY tough week emotionally. I wouldn't say I was really moody. It was more just like an overwhelmingly scared, anxious, stressed out feeling. I feel like I have the whole world on my shoulders and have SO much to do, and just nothing seems to be getting done. I'm not a big crier, and I had a couple days where it was just an endless flood and there was just nothing I could do! I can only assume it's totally normal-especially at this juncture, and it was fairly therapeutic I think (after the fact). It didn't help that Josh was gone the majority of the week.

Looking forward to:  Getting her nursery completely finished!!! 

34 weeks!

How far along? 34 weeks! 

Maternity clothes: Same routine! Although this week I did spoil myself a little bit and got a pair of SUPER cute maternity jeans off of Zulily. They were on sale for 20 bucks so I didn't feel too guilty. Anyone in the market for maternity clothes I totally recommend Zulily and Hautelook. They regularly have super good sales for us mama's to be as well as baby stuff! 

Stretch marks? There's nothin yet! I feel like i'm being punked and a day before I give birth my stomach is going to be like "JUST KIDDING, here's your stretch marks!!" 

Sleep: I'm doing really well still, falling asleep easily and staying asleep besides the occasional trip to the bathroom. The only thing that has changed is i've noticed it is getting harder and harder to adjust sleeping positions throughout the night, this belly is hard to maneuver comfortably. I sorta feel like it would be easier to just get OUT of bed and start over instead of rolling over. haha  

Best moment this week: Well the majority of the past week was spent in Michigan still. We had such a fabulous time and the weather was gorgeous. Beach time, mini road trips to different places, Lake Superior, A zoo, Josh went golfing, the casino, and multiple bonfires. It was extremely hard to leave on Wednesday. I had my first real uncontrollable hormonal breakdown, I was SO sad! But we have gotten A LOT done since we've been home so I guess it's not all bad. 

Miss anything?: Maneuvering my body easily, bending over, etc. 

Movement:  Ohhh yes and boyyy is she runnin out of room! I've had a couple of times where she is clearly trying to stretch out and I can feel the sharp pressing feeling down on my bladder and kicking up in my ribs. Insanity. She's also had the hiccups a lot more lately too.

Food cravings: ICE CREAM!! SO not like me, but I just can't get enough    

Anything making you queasy or sick?  I had a moment while registering at Babies R Us where I felt like I was going to vomit out of nowhere, but I can't really pinpoint what caused it. Just extensive standing? Who knows 

Gender: Chicky poo 

Labor signs: Nope! 

Symptoms: All my usual, indigestion, back pain if I'm standing or walking for extended periods of time, getting more fatigued again, leg and foot cramps, and i've started having more and more braxton hicks. All in all though I feel very fortunate because I still feel REALLY good, sorta waiting for the downfall! 

Belly button in or out? Really depends upon the day, some days it's REALLY out, other times it's In and sometimes it switches throughout the day depending on what i'm doing. Silly little thing.   

Wedding rings on or off? On.

Happy or moody most of the time? With the exception of coming home from vacation I've been really happy. If I can take a moment to gush a bit, (skip past this section if you can't stomach it) i've just been feeling so fortunate and overwhelmingly BLESSED lately. It's been a rough weekend with getting all kinds of things accomplished in the nursery, hours spent registering for upcoming showers, as well as a few "homestead hiccups." And no matter how overwhelmed or stressed out I started to feel, I just felt SO fortunate to have Josh by my side. He's really SO good about just being helpful and cooperative when he knows I need it. I know plenty of men would have gotten really fed up with my requests and overall annoying "nesting behaviors." I've just found that it's really easy for a woman to feel kind of "alone" throughout the pregnancy and sort of like it's ALL on you. I feel really lucky to have a man that tries REALLY hard to make me feel like we are in this together and that I don't ever need to feel like i'm doing anything on my own. He's also been working extremely hard to make it a possibility for me to stay home with the baby until she's a little older and that is just AMAZING! What can I say other than I really feel like I won the husband lottery (even if he drives me nuts sometimes....hey maybe I should remind myself to read this when he does! haha) <3 

Looking forward to:  I'm really looking forward to my showers because while we have most of the BIG stuff for the nursery, we have NOTHING else. I am so dang excited to meet this little one!  

17 weeks + SURPRISE!!!

How far along? 17 weeks!

Maternity clothes: Every now and then, still don't need to all the time. 

Stretch marks? I'm still doing okay, but I had a dream the other night that I had HUGE sore stretch marks so that was a bit frightening 

Sleep: Okay I suppose!

Best moment this week: Well I ended up getting sick AGAIN with an awful cold, so that was pretty unfortunate. My immune system has really taken a SEVERE beating obviously. But the BEST moment was today!! (Oooo the suspense!) 

Miss anything?: I miss not catching every plague that crosses my path! 

Movement: Noo not yet. 

Food cravings: Oranges and Apples

Anything making you queasy or sick? Nothing in particular

Gender: !!!!!  

Labor signs: Nope 

Symptoms: headache, and then all my horrible cold symptoms but i'm not sure they count.

Belly button in or out? Still in

Wedding rings on or off? On.

Happy or moody most of the time? This week i've been BLAH again. 

Looking forward to:  Spilling the beans...

cause oh yeah, by the way...........................................................................

WE'RE HAVING A GIRL!!!!!! 

I swear it's not an April Fool's joke. 

Now, I guess I have some 'splainin to do. SO, as you all know we had our anatomy scan scheduled for next week. Well I just last week finally made the decision to transfer care to the midwives at U of M. So I was in a predicament. Do I keep the ultrasound appointment with the old providers and then have to transfer all that information? Or do I just wait until 20 weeks with the new providers? OR..do I give in to my insanely impatient ways and get an elective ultrasound now AND a 20 week ultrasound with my new provider. I think you can guess what choice I made. 

So we went and did that TODAY. Of COURSE the little peanut had the cord absolutely RIGHT on top where we wanted to see and she had the cord in her hands messin around with it, but the tech was pretty confident that it was a GIRL!! (I mean, even willing to bet 100 dollars! :P) So we were SHOCKED! We were both totally thinking boy, but we are thrilled!! She will have Josh wrapped around her little finger I can already see it. I must say I am glad we will get one last chance to check and make sure the cord wasn't hidin anything! BUT OMG! We're having a little girl!!!!!  They couldn't get the best shots of her cause she was movin all over the place but she's so cute and we already love her so much!!

14 weeks! HELLO 2nd trimester!

How far along? 14 weeks!! (OFFICIALLY, INDISPUTABLY IN THE 2nd TRIMESTER!!) 

Maternity clothes: Still not yet, I wore a maternity shirt the other day. But before I got pregnant I bought some jeans at a thrift store that were just a LITTLE bit too big so that might be why I'm not needing the pants yet.

Stretch marks? None still. I ordered some Earth Mama Angel Baby Natural Stretch Oil last night. I'm all about reading reviews on things, and this one got mostly all positive reviews. We shall see how it works for me!

Sleep: Sleeping alright. I've started having the really weird dreams. Also, I ALWAYS wake up and i'm sleeping on my back. I know it probably isn't SUCH a big deal in this early stage, but I have to train myself somehow to not do that.It's hard because that's one of my favorite sleeping positions.

Best moment this week: Well it started out pretty lame, I had jury duty. But I guess in hindsight it wasn't SO bad, I only had to go 2 days, and at least I know i'm guaranteed exemption for 4 years. Then we got our very reassuring NT screening results (if you missed it, I posted about it here.) And I had a very good weekend! Saturday was allegedly "International Women's Day" and Josh really allowed me to soak that up for all it was worth. He took me on a shopping trip to Hobby Lobby (which by the way was AWESOME) and then got my car all washed and detailed.

Miss anything?:  I miss not getting headaches damn near every day, AND being able to take something that is actually effective for them.

Movement: Nope, but I have been able to HEAR movement on occasion with my doppler which is pretty dang cool!

Food cravings: I recently got these little instant mashed potato cups that come in all kinds of flavors like loaded baked potato, 4 cheese, etc. And they are SO good. I sprinkle a little shredded cheese and sometimes a little hot sauce on them and it is like my new favorite snack. I ate all the ones we bought so I find myself craving those. Other than that, no notable cravings besides just food in general still. I feel like a ravenous beast.

Anything making you queasy or sick? This is going to sound really gross potentially but "morning mouth" makes me gag and sometimes even heave a little EVERY morning lately. And it's not like I have wretched morning breath or anything, it's just that dry mouth, congested throat feeling that literally makes me gag. Okay that's far enough of that.

Gender: Still no clue! My gut is still totally screaming "boy" though. I'm hoping that since Josh has to go out of town around my 19th/20th week that my doctor will let us have the anatomy scan near the end of my 18th week. And if that's the case, only 1 month until we find out what we're having!! CRAZY!

Labor signs: Uh no

Symptoms: I think i'm finally starting to perk up. Don't feel SO exhausted all the time anymore (still plenty tired though) My only real negative symptom as of late are these headaches. I've been drinking water basically all day ever day, and i've tried basically all the tricks in the book. But to no avail! If anyone has any surefire tricks that I may not have tried, PLEASE send them my way. I ordered something strange called Zandu balm (which also got good reviews) It will probably make me grow hair on my chin or something, but i'm willing to try anything at this point.  

Belly button in or out? Still in

Wedding rings on or off? On.

Happy or moody most of the time? Half and half i'd say. I've just noticed that annoyed tinge in the back of my neck on occasion the last couple days. (does that even makes sense???)

Looking forward to: My next routine OB appt will be sometime this week so I suppose that's something to look forward to. Still lookin forward to that spring fever too of course!!

Results and quick video!

So earlier this week I heard back from the genetic counselor regarding our results from the NT screening. Now these are just the preliminary results, we will get the FINAL results (after 1 more blood draw from me) at the end of March. However, they were VERY good! And she said if anything, these results will stay the same-the risk likely won't increase. Our risk for down syndrome is about 1 in 8500, and the risk for Trisomy 18 is 1 in 10,000. A woman my age starts out with a risk of about 1 in 700, so that was a really good jump. So all in all, very promising and reassuring results!

Now, just for a little fun video!  Recently when I've used my fetal doppler, on occasion I will hear the heartbeat, and then I'll hear a little screech or a record scratch. I'll be keeping the wand absolutely still, so it's not feedback. I looked it up because there are MANY noises you can hear in there. (your own heartbeat, the placenta, etc) But it turns out that particular sound is actually fetal movement! Most likely the baby kicking or bumping around in there. SO INSANE!! So in this video you can kind of hear what i'm talking about-it sounds like little bleeps or like I said-a record scratch. (right around the 10 and 20 second mark) I am also pretty amazed at how STRONG the heartbeat has gotten! When I first got the doppler it was hard to find and pretty faint most times. Now it's like POW POW POW and I can find it right away.  SO cool. I don't think i'll ever stop being absolutely amazed by this whole thing! :)

(Ps don't pay much attention to the HR reading, I don't think it's very accurate especially considering it jumps around A LOT)

13 weeks!

How far along? 13 weeks!

Maternity clothes: Not yet, at this rate though it's probably not too far in the future

Stretch marks? Still none. And i'm kicking myself because I was JUST at Walmart tonight and forgot to pick up that dang cocoa butter!! AGHH!! 

Sleep: Still sleeping okay. 

Best moment this week: I actually had a very good week! We got to see our peanut at our ultrasound on Tuesday! And I got my hair done on Thursday and that felt AMAZING! I needed the pick me up! 

Miss anything?:  I miss staying full for more than an hour and a half. I swear i'm STARVING every 2 hours. 

Movement: No

Food cravings: Still no new ones, I crave "food" ALL the time, does that count? 

Anything making you queasy or sick? Still gagging when I brush my teeth. And the only other time I feel like I could be sick is when I get really hungry, which like I said is EXTREMELY common these days.

Gender: No clue. The ultrasound tech wouldn't give us any clue (BOO!) For some reason I just have a feeling it's a Boy though. We shall see!

Labor signs: Not quite yet....

Symptoms: Still pretty fatigued, i've been struggling with headaches pretty often lately which is real cool considering there are rumors that Tylenol is linked to ADHD so I guess we're just SOL for any sort of relief during pregnancy. And still getting nauseous here and there. I've been very fortunate this pregnancy because i've heard some HORROR stories from other poor pregnant ladies, but when my symptoms are bad they are BAD.  

Belly button in or out? In, I did take my belly ring out though because it started to poke out all awkwardly in my shirt 

Wedding rings on or off? On.

Happy or moody most of the time? I don't feel like i'm OVERLY moody, I'd say pretty standard. I have good and bad moments, but more good. (I think anyways?) 

Looking forward to: We will be getting our results back from the NT screening hopefully tomorrow, so i'm looking forward to getting GOOD news from that. (fingers crossed) I'm looking forward to warmer, sunny weather. It's really hard to remain optimistic and happy in this awful, miserably cold weather. We have had ENOUGH!!!! Come on Spring, I am SO SO ready for you. 

Make every day count

This picture. Was not an intentional shot at all. Took some pictures using my zoom and then forgot to take it off. Not much to it right? Could have easily been one for the delete pile. But no. For some reason this picture makes me think. Stirs up something inside me. Weird right? 

This picture makes me think about Life. How quickly all our lives go by. How quickly things can change, shift, and ultimately end in the blink of an eye. Our lives are just a blip on the map. So insignificant in the grand scheme of things, yet so precious. Do we truly appreciate this life we are given, on a daily basis? Do we give the proper thanks everyday for all we have, all we are blessed with. No, probably not. When things around us go wrong, or we see or hear about tragedy's that happen to others, we may stop and think to ourselves, wow I am so blessed. But why don't we feel that way every day? Why don't we wake up and Thank God for the day we are given. Just for giving us another day to be with the people we love. Thank Him for all the tremendous indescribable beauty all around us. Why don't we soak up that beauty everyday. Absolutely Cherish it. We are only given this one life. This one crazy tiny life. We should be doing everything we can to absolutely jam pack it with happiness and love. Do we take full advantage of all the love we are given, and all the love we have been equipped with to give? When you REALLY think about it, isn't it just crazy? It's terrifying in a way. Life as a whole scares me, the uncertainty of it all. I've never been fond of the unknown. And that's not to say I don't have faith. I certainly do. But to just think that You could be gone tomorrow. The most important person in your life could be gone in an instant. I've never been able to wrap my mind around that. I don't anyone can or ever will. 

That person in that picture up there will someday be a memory. Nothing more. 

There's no way to even begin explain what that thought feels like. I feel tears welling up in my eyes just to even briefly contemplate it. Your day to day problems, your drama, all that stuff doesn't make up your life, or at least it shouldn't. IT DOESN'T MATTER! It may feel like it does right now, but it DOES NOT. When it really comes down to it, you won't look back on the stupid, pitiful, bad moments of your life. It's moments like that one up there^that count. There's happiness in that face. Hope. Life. It's a picture that speaks volumes without really showing or saying anything at all. I wish I always lived my life with that kind of freedom. Letting go of all the stuff I can't change, all the stuff that really doesn't even matter. Free yourself. Let the grace and love of God surround you everyday. Wouldn't we be so much happier? Life is so so short. We all say it, but when do we stop just saying it and start living that way? I know we can't ALWAYS live everyday as if it were our last. Everyone is bound to have a bad day here and there that you just can't shake. But I challenge everyone to just TRY as much as you can! Be kind, be honest, be loving. Think about your lives. Realize how very important it is to cherish what you have today, before today is too late. Try your hardest everyday to make the memory of yourself the absolute best and happiest it can be!